Meltdown

Today I did something that I am completely ashamed of. Nine hours later, I'm still appalled by my behavior. To write about it publicly is embarrassing, and yet to avoid the subject altogether rings utterly false. This experience is one I will long remember, and in hindsight, it seems quite significant to the story of my life in Korea.

While I won't go into specific detail here, suffice it to say that my pride got the better of me, and I threw a bit of a temper tantrum while in a shop. Perhaps the worst part is that for the rest of the day, I've simultaneously been rationalizing my behavior while acknowledging my fault in the matter (and feeling lousy about it).

Tim Keller often speaks about the importance of absorbing the hurt when someone wrongs you. As anyone who's tried to knows, this is not easy to do. But it is what we ought to do.

Since I failed BIG time in absorbing the hurt today, at least I can apologize and seek forgiveness. Using Google translate, I've looked up how to write I am very sorry in Korean. Tomorrow, I plan to deliver an apology note to the woman who faced my wrath. Not sure how it will go over, but I feel I must do something. Even though I'm still hurt, even though I'm still upset.